Endings can be difficult. Endings can be complicated. Endings can be beautiful.
Some endings in my life, particular events, truly feel like a changing chapter. The first I remember is the end of my high school basketball career. I remember our last game.
We lost in the semi-finals for the state championship. When we returned to the locker room, I wrote this quote on the whiteboard: “Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened.”— Dr. Suess.
I still viscerally remember the crowd's heat flowing onto the basketball court. I remember taking the final shot and missing it.
High school basketball was over.
The thing is, no matter the outcome of that game—win or lose, whether we went to the state finals and won or lost—high school basketball was always going to end somewhere.
But life goes on. Next chapter: college basketball.
My end marker for this chapter is sitting at a Hibachi grill with my teammates at the end of the season. The season did not go as well as we had hoped, but I still cherish many memories from my time playing.
There were moments when I wished I could forever live life in that era. There were also moments when I felt burnt out and desperately wanted to move on to the next chapter.
My most recent life event was graduating from the Wharton MBA program. There was so much packed into my two years at Wharton.
On my last night in Philadelphia, I reflected on all of the events, people I met, and things I did. I felt that I needed to find some sort of closure. I wanted to reflect on everything and really appreciate what I just did.
But, how do you summarize such an extensive experience?
What did I get out of it? What did I give? How did I change? How am I the same?
I found deep friendships, support, inspiration, kindness, encouragement, happy tears, the deepest laughs, memories that still make me smile, and a mounting sense of purpose.
I traveled around the globe and experienced different cultures and ways of life. I learned in contexts of classrooms, simulations, and shared lived experiences.
I think about these events and feel so much positivity. At the same time, in the spirit of transparency, not everything was pure happiness and Instagram-worthy moments.
There were relationship problems—friends and dating, a lot of homework and papers, risk, failures, wasted time and energy, tears, let-downs, mistakes, regrets, and doubt.
All-encompassing experiences.
Lying in bed with my nerdy neck lamp, thinking and journaling about my time, I saw this strange shadow on my wall. It looked just like the shape on my abstract print.
I have carried this beautiful abstract print over the years. It says, “May I Experience This Completely.”
I pulled that picture out of my suitcase and just stared at it. It was the exact same shape.
Call it coincidence, a divine sign, or just seeing what you want to see. But as I looked at that shadow next to that picture, I felt a deep sense of closure.
Some chapters of our lives are full of vibrance and change, and for me, this chapter was one of those. I experienced a range of emotions, culture, and change.
As we think about the endings in our lives, we know not all of them truly feel like endings. We don’t always get closure. We can leave with good feelings, bad feelings, neutral feelings, a whirlwind of feelings, or none at all.
Some things don’t feel like they ever really “end;” they continue to be part of your daily life, a constant themed thread.
But for the chapters where you can find closure, choose to take the best things with you and allow yourself to bask in that wonder. Leave behind memories that don’t serve you, but take the lessons forward without regret.
Getting to choose how to feel and what to remember is a wonderful feeling.
This is one of the best feelings you can feel in life: looking back and knowing you were exactly where you were meant to be—experiencing life completely.